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Monday, March 1, 2021

February 2021

I have not finished as many books as I intended and it is hard to blame shortness of the month for it. To be precise I have only finished one book! However, I did studied a lot painting with acrylics and I might at some point review the excessive literature I have invested in to learn using this versatile medium. I have to admit I have not expected how exciting it would be to paint and use it as an expressive channel. Currently my skills are in their infancy so not every fancy idea I am able to turn into a representing well my vision output. But I am having a blast with what I can so far and I look forward to extending my abilities.

BOOK(S)

'I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"' by Brene Brown

It is another self-help book by Brene Brown that chews on ones heart and force you to grow this tiny-winy more confident it your own value. I enjoyed it as all other books of Mrs Brown I read so far. She speaks about feelings and life in a very tender and wise manner. This book is most relevant for women as it is based on Mrs Brown research data she gathered about women. The book describes issues with shame and how to build resilience against it. For me it was great read.

Sunday, January 31, 2021

January 2021

 I have turned 34. I've got a painting from my husband and I am super excited about it. 

I bought plenty of painting gear and I follow step-by-step tutorials to learn basics of acrylics. They quite smelly but I have some creative outlet as at the moment with an infant and 3,5 year old at home in lockdown I have no brain power to work on my book projects. But I keep on gathering ideas... there might never be a perfect time and I am not waiting for such. I am just waiting for a slightly better times ;) I have not been very persistent with my exercising plans but the moment my older child will sleep consistently well I hope to have enough energy to will myself to train. As I said I just need slightly better times...

I am on a quest of healing my mind. And my to-read list is full of books that I hope will help me heal and grow. It is very challenging process but I rather go through it that regret that I didn't.

BOOKS

'The Gifts of Imperfection' by Brene Brown

I liked it! I learned a lot. I hope to have some time to one day process my notes. It is a book about feelings and what they mean and how to understand them.

 

'Braving the Wilderness' by Brene Brown

This was good but as I am not a citizen of USA some parts of it were not as important to me as maybe they were for those that are. No matter what one always can learn a lot from Brown. She just writes books that makes one feel welcomed and cared for.


'Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER' by Gabor Mate

This book is among most important books I read so far in my life. I needed this knowledge and it set me on the quest of digging more into my psyche. It is book filled with wisdom.

Monday, January 4, 2021

Fit_Again WEEK 1 - building new habit

FAAP - Fit Again After Pregnancy

Part 2

So... I have been pregnant and I have gained more than I should have... (loosing-weight-after-pregnancy)

Now my two month break ends at the time of the new year's resolutions... but we all know how they end... I also checked my last years calendar to remind myself how badly I did (at least this year there was a omnipresent excuse COVID-19).

My plan is to exercise everyday when my two kids are sleeping.

So here is my week 1 update:

At midnight on New Years Eve (how desperate! I know..., but I was home and to tell the truth I hardly made it awake until midnight so I could jump into the new year with my husband as we do every year...) my husband has put my indoor sport shoes next to my elliptic (cross trainer). From that I knew it is ON for real...

On the first of January I went on elliptic for approx. 5 seconds I even haven't bothered to put my training shoes on and I had to motivate myself with vegan almond magnum... believe me it was necessary. Despite how it looks I counted it as a success. 

On 2nd and 3rd January I did better I actually did 10 min (I stopped exhausted but proud) while listening to audiobook ('Emma' by Jane Austen). But I devoured half a package of potato chips shamelessly on the 2nd but on the 3rd I felt a bit bad about it (apparently not serious enough to make me stop). I did put on my training shoes but other than that I was sporting my 'tired mom' outfit.

 I also went for a walk all 3 days. That counts.

OK, so far so good... plenty of place for improvement but I started.

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

December 2020

CHRISTMAS

December is a festive month. It is time of uncontrolled consumptions but also time when we make a huge investment into social gatherings. The coronavirus influenced, as expected, all the aspects of this month. Here in Germany we couldn't shop for presents as usually in the last minute amok because of lockdown that closed all non-necessary shops. Also, we couldn't meet at Christmas markets and enjoy the vibe of street food, lovely lights and buying things nobody really needs. We couldn't meet at Christmas parties drinking our brains out whole nights wearing Santa's hats. And just generally on everyday basis due to distance rules one feels less united with random strangers around. 

But most of all because of constant anticipation of what rules we will have to follow this Christmas due to pandemics I felt like I waited more for the announcements than for the holiday itself.

In the end, I have spend Christmas with my closest family, I couldn't meet with my parents, but my brother visited.  As our parents couldn't visit we received this December a lot of packages. To avoid stress instead of Christmas Eve dinner I with my husband and two children had pancakes for breakfast and after it we have spend relaxed time opening presents and playing with new toys and gadgets we got from each other and our families. We had backed chicken for dinner and after it we baked cookies that we prepared together with milk for Santa.


BOOKS

I am taking a lot of notes while reading. It became my new thing but I have no idea when I will get to use them to make my reviews more thorough...


The Confidence Code' by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay

This book is written by two cool ladies and it is a very pleasant reading. It was inspiring and informative but lightly written. I highly recommend.

'Confidence is linked to doing.'


'The Organized Mind' by Daniel Levitin

It was way more informative and rewarding book that I have expected. This book in more research based than just self-help tips that I appreciate a lot. I liked the chapter about medical decision making, but it also made me confused if it is still a book on mind as it seems like the author dives so deeply to some aspects of organizing the thought process that sometimes it feels like one reads an entirely different book.


'Girl, wash your face' by Rachel Hollis

This is a typical self-help book. I was curious about and decided to give it a go. As with most books like this one has to take it with a slight distance to the author. I do not follow her on social media I only know her because her book was recommended to me by Amazon and it had great reviews (that I am surprised about). While reading I thought this book was waste of time but I kept on reading mostly because of my therapy goals that I will be finishing things I start. 
And then came few sentences in the chapter 'I need to make myself smaller' (in each chapter she discusses one lie a lot of women in her opinion unfortunately live like they do believe in it) that suddenly made reading this book worth it. (She just put words on some of the things I have been chewing through in my therapy.) Thank you girl! (btw. this is the style the author addresses her readers - a bit tiring as for me)

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

loosing weight after pregnancy

FAAP - Fit Again After Pregnancy

Part 1

So here I am after second pregnancy. Some lucky and disciplined ladies put on the recommended 12 kg but not me. Just like in my first run it seemed like I have it all under control but I ended up with more than 20 kg (because in the end I had no nerves to spare to keep checking... actually even my gynecologist gave up on measuring). 

Shortly, soon it is two months after delivery and I have 14 kg to lose?! There are of course good news and bad news. 

Bad ones are obvious it is 14 kg freaking kilo - one do not just loose that much while being highly sleep deprived, and consuming random candy to some how patiently survive yet another intensive day of caring for newborn and playing with preschooler.

Anyway, the only good thing is that as it is my second baby I know that I basically managed to eventually get back to almost my weight that is 58 kg (2kg different from the perfect state but I am not one of those to nitpick over such a tiny details). BUT it took me 2,5 years! So it is a semi good news.

I am writing it while drinking tea and thinking if I should get myself one more piece of chocolate or not... The reasons I am sill without chocolate in my mouth is that I would have to stand up (moving is almost like exercising) and go all the way to the kitchen and because I feel conflicted to write a post about how much I want to loose weight while consuming yet another piece of chocolate. 

What I am actually trying to say here is that I am not a diet believer. I recognize that one way of losing weight is to withhold eating sugary, salty, fatty and other good tasting stuff. But I am not that disciplined and I am a foodie. I acknowledge that there is no way of cutting some kilos while eating like there is not tomorrow. 'Don't Eat A Lot' (DONEAL) is a rule one has to implement but I am opting for gradual change. 

For me the way of getting back to my size is moving, moving, and moving. The more sports I do the more I drink water, which is good for loosing weight, I sleep better which is essential for life, health and losing weight, I eat less because I sleep better and I am happier so I am more inclined to DONEAL to reach my goals. But most of all moving, moving, and moving strategy means for me more guilt free chocolate!

Now it is clear why it took me 2,5 years to get back in shape and kind of in my size. This time I would like to achieve it faster. 1 kilo per month (healthy and realistic enough rate) starting from January as I do not plan to say no to any Christmas specialty. Christmas is once per year and it is one of its perks to eat good food from morning to evening in cozy company of friends and family. So I start from January. I also from the start gave myself 2 months without sports so my body can recover after delivering my second baby. So yeah January it is.

Anyway, 1 kilo per month would mean still 8 kilo too much by the summer. So I need better results.

Lets see in June... 

How I will train? I am actually not sure yet. At the moment I live in COVID-19 risk area and we have hard lockdown all the way to mid-January (although I think it will be longer...) which means my gym is closed. I have some gear at home: weights, bench, step and elliptic - that will have to be sufficient.

Lastly, I was not sure if I am brave enough to take a photo of myself 'before' so I can put also the 'after' one too... It took a bit of soul searching but I decided to do it. My husband is impressed but he warned me that my photo might be used for promoting of some random products online. I have to say I have hard time believing that my purple power ranger outfit will make a cut to promote absolutely anything so I am ready to take a risk...

Me one and half month after my second child was born, 72 kg.

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

November 2020

This was my first month as a mom of two kids. It was lovely because my husband took holidays to take care of me and our kids. Everyday felt like Saturday - there was so much to do, clean and take care of but it was still like weekend day.

I have managed to finish two books which I am proud of considering the little time and energy I have those days.


BOOKS

'Why we sleep'  by Matthew Walker

I have learned a lot about importance of sleep and I have implemented more strict protecting of sleeping time rules for me and my core family. It is a lot of information but it definitely puts our culture of neglecting sleep in perspective. I highly recommend it but if you have a choice to read it or to sleep please always choose to sleep.

'The way we're working isn't working' by Tony Schwartz

I haven't learned much new from this book because I have read books dedicated to various topics Schwartz is discussing in his book. However, I found it still interesting summary of many concepts I have interest in growing my understanding of. The focus of this book is a lot on applying it in the business world which currently I do not have a need for but if you do this book is a nice reference.

Monday, November 2, 2020

October 2020

This month I woke up to life in COVID-19 risk area. I am approaching new flu/covid-19 season already energy depleted, as my life has already been for a while simple and as isolated as sanity allowed.

However, this month ended with a little baby being born and expanding my family with love and joy. It is a sweet distraction from all that is happening in the world.


BOOKS

'Women Don't Own You Pretty' by Florence Given

This book is full of well observed social gender problems and practical tips. Florence Given come across as smart and passionate but at moments a bit too intense as for me. She talks a lot about self development in the context of sexuality and relationships which I enjoyed. Totally agree one should not pretend to be less just to protect ones partner's ego or altering oneself to satisfy omni existent male gaze criteria. However, she seems to advice finding prince/princess perfect that will love one the way one is since one is so perfect... It is an aspect I disagree with her about and would like to comment on. If you search for a partner find someone with who you agree on most important to you aspects and with who you can grow and keep becoming better and better version of yourself while watching them doing just the same for themselves. We are all humans in making. 

'Reboot' by Jerry 

First of all it is business book about spiritual growth needed to succeed in the highest positions in the corporation ladder or as a business owner. Jerry' style of writing is tiny bit too spiritual for me but his metaphorical approach softens truths and they easier to swallow. Also, because not being hard core psychological it is easier to go through (than other book I am currently chewing) and do a bit of journaling without getting constantly too deep into problems from the past (that is emotionally draining, and one can do only that much at a time).
I plan to write a separate post based on this book: 'There is no path... deal with it' (one day when my brain will wiggle itself out of dipper issues). 


'Big Magic' by Elizabeth Gilbert

Elizabeth's TED talk about inspiration and creativity is one of my favorite TED talks. This book is an expansion of the thoughts she shared there. This book is precious to me as I am striving to go back to more creative way of living. This book is filled with wisdom and I can only recommend it.


'All my friends are superheroes' by Andrew Kaufman

It is a cute short love story. Sens of humor there is totally to my taste and I enjoyed reading it.