April 2021

 All right, I am totally late with this post but I also have not slept for half of this month. I feel like I am running on 5% of my capacities and it is horrible. Both of my kids had been sick and/or had problems with sleeping. Some serious problems and some quite exasperating like a call at 3 a.m. 'Mommy I cannot find my teddy! My Teddy!'...

To lighten my life...

I had out of nowhere or at least it feels like that on one horribly rainy April day a brilliant thought of buying a water quality test. I ordered those straps one dip in the water and they indicate concentrations of different stuff in your water by changing their color. Anyhow, my results were not zero for heavy metals?! Those tests are hardly accurate so I had to investigate further... to say it shortly I bought 2 different water filters, got my water tested in professional lab and checked my daughter's blood for heavy metal traces... I guess that is what happens to not intellectually challenged physicist's brain... it invents research projects..!? 

I was not swimming in free time this month but I managed to finish two books...

BOOKS

'Siblings Without Rivalry. How to help your children live together so you can live too.' by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

I benefited from this book both as a mother and a sister. It is full of relatable stories that give a lot of insight how to help siblings to communicate with each other and how to treat them so they both feel appreciated and recognized as individual human being. As a sister it helped me put more words on how me and my brother were raised and it confirmed things I felt but never got a chance to voice. I really liked this book.

'Rising Strong. If we are brave enough, often enough, we will fall. This is a book about getting back up.' by Brene Brown

I immediately started to apply tips from this book to my private life. To lead more peaceful and mentally healthy life I need to exercise Brene's advices. This book is mostly about rising strong from everyday emotional challenges but the theory is universal. Precious book.

March 2021

March was for me too long and awkwardly frustrating, annoying, depressing, disappointing and all of that... I am so happy it is over although how I felt had little to do with the fact it was March ;) So my optimism about April is not that great. But spring is spring. It has the power of driving me crazy with weather oscillations. But on average there is more and more sun and warmth. Thank you.

As everyone, I am fed up with the pandemic. It is not because I miss going to cafes or movie theaters (I probably wouldn't get that much of those anyway since I've just got my second baby), it is not because  miss travelling to far away places and socializing with random people. It is not because I cannot go and see my family as we divided by geo-political borders that apparently can get highly difficult to cross from day to day. NO. That is not quite the reason why I am going mad. My main reason is that I had to become more aware of the world and local politics. That made it clear to my everyday thought process how little investment goes into making life of people from my socio-economical level better. I am really tired of knowing and not having plan how to get to the place where I could afford to live the life I want and not care about illogical and uncaring system. Oh yes, this is where I am. I will eventually forget to be angry at the doings of those in charge of this world but until then I will be boiling inside. But not that much as I am mostly consumed by keeping my kids entertained and fed.

BOOKS

Psychological parenting books are interesting and empowering to me as they are invaluable help in improving communication with my children. However, you must be warn, they can be also highly frustrating! Chewing on all the things my parents could have done better but they didn't is only that much fun. I think it is worth the struggle so that maybe, just maybe my kids will be at least slightly less angry at me than I am at my parents. I've read two positions this month.

'The Whole-Brain Child' by Daniel J. Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson

 This book is a classic, it contains good amount of information and examples.

'The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read: (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)' by Philippa Perry

I wish I have read it. I wish my parents could have read it but it was not available 34 years ago. It is a parenting book that matters. If you cannot afford to read too many parenting books due to time limits (which I guess is true for all parents to some extend) then make sure this one makes the cut.

'Womenomics' by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay

I have enjoyed the first half of the book more than the second. It is written with women's work situation in US. It is full of chatty advices how to create more balanced life. It is mostly relevant for women with family and kids or those planning to have career and children. But any women craving a work-life balance can find here something useful. However, the book is quite outdated (published in 2009) by now and much less relevant for Europeans.

February 2021

I have not finished as many books as I intended and it is hard to blame shortness of the month for it. To be precise I have only finished one book! However, I did studied a lot painting with acrylics and I might at some point review the excessive literature I have invested in to learn using this versatile medium. I have to admit I have not expected how exciting it would be to paint and use it as an expressive channel. Currently my skills are in their infancy so not every fancy idea I am able to turn into a representing well my vision output. But I am having a blast with what I can so far and I look forward to extending my abilities.

BOOK(S)

'I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"' by Brene Brown

It is another self-help book by Brene Brown that chews on ones heart and force you to grow this tiny-winy more confident it your own value. I enjoyed it as all other books of Mrs Brown I read so far. She speaks about feelings and life in a very tender and wise manner. This book is most relevant for women as it is based on Mrs Brown research data she gathered about women. The book describes issues with shame and how to build resilience against it. For me it was great read.

January 2021

 I have turned 34. I've got a painting from my husband and I am super excited about it. 

I bought plenty of painting gear and I follow step-by-step tutorials to learn basics of acrylics. They quite smelly but I have some creative outlet as at the moment with an infant and 3,5 year old at home in lockdown I have no brain power to work on my book projects. But I keep on gathering ideas... there might never be a perfect time and I am not waiting for such. I am just waiting for a slightly better times ;) I have not been very persistent with my exercising plans but the moment my older child will sleep consistently well I hope to have enough energy to will myself to train. As I said I just need slightly better times...

I am on a quest of healing my mind. And my to-read list is full of books that I hope will help me heal and grow. It is very challenging process but I rather go through it that regret that I didn't.

BOOKS

'The Gifts of Imperfection' by Brene Brown

I liked it! I learned a lot. I hope to have some time to one day process my notes. It is a book about feelings and what they mean and how to understand them.

 

'Braving the Wilderness' by Brene Brown

This was good but as I am not a citizen of USA some parts of it were not as important to me as maybe they were for those that are. No matter what one always can learn a lot from Brown. She just writes books that makes one feel welcomed and cared for.

'Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER' by Gabor Mate

This book is among most important books I read so far in my life. I needed this knowledge and it set me on the quest of digging more into my psyche. It is book filled with wisdom.

Fit_Again WEEK 1 - building new habit

FAAP - Fit Again After Pregnancy

Part 2

So... I have been pregnant and I have gained more than I should have... (loosing-weight-after-pregnancy)

Now my two month break ends at the time of the new year's resolutions... but we all know how they end... I also checked my last years calendar to remind myself how badly I did (at least this year there was a omnipresent excuse COVID-19).

My plan is to exercise everyday when my two kids are sleeping.

So here is my week 1 update:

At midnight on New Years Eve (how desperate! I know..., but I was home and to tell the truth I hardly made it awake until midnight so I could jump into the new year with my husband as we do every year...) my husband has put my indoor sport shoes next to my elliptic (cross trainer). From that I knew it is ON for real...

On the first of January I went on elliptic for approx. 5 seconds I even haven't bothered to put my training shoes on and I had to motivate myself with vegan almond magnum... believe me it was necessary. Despite how it looks I counted it as a success. 

On 2nd and 3rd January I did better I actually did 10 min (I stopped exhausted but proud) while listening to audiobook ('Emma' by Jane Austen). But I devoured half a package of potato chips shamelessly on the 2nd but on the 3rd I felt a bit bad about it (apparently not serious enough to make me stop). I did put on my training shoes but other than that I was sporting my 'tired mom' outfit.

 I also went for a walk all 3 days. That counts.

OK, so far so good... plenty of place for improvement but I started.

December 2020

CHRISTMAS

December is a festive month. It is time of uncontrolled consumptions but also time when we make a huge investment into social gatherings. The coronavirus influenced, as expected, all the aspects of this month. Here in Germany we couldn't shop for presents as usually in the last minute amok because of lockdown that closed all non-necessary shops. Also, we couldn't meet at Christmas markets and enjoy the vibe of street food, lovely lights and buying things nobody really needs. We couldn't meet at Christmas parties drinking our brains out whole nights wearing Santa's hats. And just generally on everyday basis due to distance rules one feels less united with random strangers around. 

But most of all because of constant anticipation of what rules we will have to follow this Christmas due to pandemics I felt like I waited more for the announcements than for the holiday itself.

In the end, I have spend Christmas with my closest family, I couldn't meet with my parents, but my brother visited.  As our parents couldn't visit we received this December a lot of packages. To avoid stress instead of Christmas Eve dinner I with my husband and two children had pancakes for breakfast and after it we have spend relaxed time opening presents and playing with new toys and gadgets we got from each other and our families. We had backed chicken for dinner and after it we baked cookies that we prepared together with milk for Santa.

BOOKS

I am taking a lot of notes while reading. It became my new thing but I have no idea when I will get to use them to make my reviews more thorough...

The Confidence Code' by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay

This book is written by two cool ladies and it is a very pleasant reading. It was inspiring and informative but lightly written. I highly recommend.

'Confidence is linked to doing.'

'The Organized Mind' by Daniel Levitin

It was way more informative and rewarding book that I have expected. This book in more research based than just self-help tips that I appreciate a lot. I liked the chapter about medical decision making, but it also made me confused if it is still a book on mind as it seems like the author dives so deeply to some aspects of organizing the thought process that sometimes it feels like one reads an entirely different book.

'Girl, wash your face' by Rachel Hollis

This is a typical self-help book. I was curious about and decided to give it a go. As with most books like this one has to take it with a slight distance to the author. I do not follow her on social media I only know her because her book was recommended to me by Amazon and it had great reviews (that I am surprised about). While reading I thought this book was waste of time but I kept on reading mostly because of my therapy goals that I will be finishing things I start. 

And then came few sentences in the chapter 'I need to make myself smaller' (in each chapter she discusses one lie a lot of women in her opinion unfortunately live like they do believe in it) that suddenly made reading this book worth it. (She just put words on some of the things I have been chewing through in my therapy.) Thank you girl! (btw. this is the style the author addresses her readers - a bit tiring as for me)

loosing weight after pregnancy

FAAP - Fit Again After Pregnancy

Part 1

So here I am after second pregnancy. Some lucky and disciplined ladies put on the recommended 12 kg but not me. Just like in my first run it seemed like I have it all under control but I ended up with more than 20 kg (because in the end I had no nerves to spare to keep checking... actually even my gynecologist gave up on measuring). 

Shortly, soon it is two months after delivery and I have 14 kg to lose?! There are of course good news and bad news. 

Bad ones are obvious it is 14 kg freaking kilo - one do not just loose that much while being highly sleep deprived, and consuming random candy to some how patiently survive yet another intensive day of caring for newborn and playing with preschooler.

Anyway, the only good thing is that as it is my second baby I know that I basically managed to eventually get back to almost my weight that is 58 kg (2kg different from the perfect state but I am not one of those to nitpick over such a tiny details). BUT it took me 2,5 years! So it is a semi good news.

I am writing it while drinking tea and thinking if I should get myself one more piece of chocolate or not... The reasons I am sill without chocolate in my mouth is that I would have to stand up (moving is almost like exercising) and go all the way to the kitchen and because I feel conflicted to write a post about how much I want to loose weight while consuming yet another piece of chocolate. 

What I am actually trying to say here is that I am not a diet believer. I recognize that one way of losing weight is to withhold eating sugary, salty, fatty and other good tasting stuff. But I am not that disciplined and I am a foodie. I acknowledge that there is no way of cutting some kilos while eating like there is not tomorrow. 'Don't Eat A Lot' (DONEAL) is a rule one has to implement but I am opting for gradual change. 

For me the way of getting back to my size is moving, moving, and moving. The more sports I do the more I drink water, which is good for loosing weight, I sleep better which is essential for life, health and losing weight, I eat less because I sleep better and I am happier so I am more inclined to DONEAL to reach my goals. But most of all moving, moving, and moving strategy means for me more guilt free chocolate!

Now it is clear why it took me 2,5 years to get back in shape and kind of in my size. This time I would like to achieve it faster. 1 kilo per month (healthy and realistic enough rate) starting from January as I do not plan to say no to any Christmas specialty. Christmas is once per year and it is one of its perks to eat good food from morning to evening in cozy company of friends and family. So I start from January. I also from the start gave myself 2 months without sports so my body can recover after delivering my second baby. So yeah January it is.

Anyway, 1 kilo per month would mean still 8 kilo too much by the summer. So I need better results.

Lets see in June... 

How I will train? I am actually not sure yet. At the moment I live in COVID-19 risk area and we have hard lockdown all the way to mid-January (although I think it will be longer...) which means my gym is closed. I have some gear at home: weights, bench, step and elliptic - that will have to be sufficient.

Lastly, I was not sure if I am brave enough to take a photo of myself 'before' so I can put also the 'after' one too... It took a bit of soul searching but I decided to do it. My husband is impressed but he warned me that my photo might be used for promoting of some random products online. I have to say I have hard time believing that my purple power ranger outfit will make a cut to promote absolutely anything so I am ready to take a risk...

Me one and half month after my second child was born, 72 kg.